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If you have been out of the dating scene for a while, either because you have been in a relationship or you simply got tired of seeking your perfect partner without success, it can be hard to get yourself back out there. To get the best from your dating experience, you need to start out with a positive attitude and the expectation of success.

Focus on the positive

Feeling good about who you are will give people you meet the chance to feel good about you too. Good self esteem shines through in your body language and attitudes and instantly makes you more approachable and attractive. We all get a little down and negative at times and if you have been through a difficult time, these feelings tend to magnify. But don’t let this rule your life and stop you achieving happiness. You deserve to be happy. We are all conditioned to be a little modest and self effacing which are attractive traits in moderation but taken to extreme, this can lead to a negative spiral. So, turn things around and concentrate on the positive aspects of your personality.

Take some time to think about what you like about yourself. What is it about you that you friends and family say makes you special? If you’re not sure, ask them! You may be in for a nice surprise. Accept the nice things people say about you. It’s easier to criticise than praise sometimes, so hold on to the good comments and believe them.

"...even those aspects of our personalities
which we view as a weakness can be
interpreted as a strength..."

Sometimes even those aspects of our personalities which we view as a weakness can be interpreted as a strength. For example, you may feel that you are shy and never know what to say. However, by not always taking the lead in a conversation, you may well be a very good listener. There is no place in a conversation for two people who talk nineteen to the dozen!

If you wear you heart on your sleeve and worry that you are occasionally too forthright and possibly tactless, other people may see you as honest open and trustworthy.

So turn your perceived weaknesses to your advantage and don’t compare yourself to others. It is the little things that you do and your individual quirks that make you special and interesting. We are all different and even those who seem to sail through life have their own insecurities just don’t let yours hold you back.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Just about everyone is critical in some way about how they look. However, looks are given a very high priority in our culture. Celebrities go to great lengths to look beautiful for the camera, but however good the make up artist, the stylist and the photographer, nearly every celebrity photo you see has been touched up or airbrushed to achieve the impression of perfection. So don’t compare yourself to the pictures in magazines, not even they really look like that!

There is a place in the world for all different shapes, sizes and looks. We are all beautiful to someone. So don’t let your perception of your looks hold you back. Whether you are tall, short, slender or cuddly, there is someone out there who will think you are amazing. There are very few people who are really so shallow as to be put of by a nose that is not 100% straight or legs that really could be an inch longer. And if they are out there, is that who you really want to meet?

"...remember our perception of what people will find
attractive is often flawed..."

Also remember our perception of what people will find attractive is often flawed! In some scientific research recently conducted a panel of men were asked to rate the attractiveness of a series of women from 1 to 10. All of the women reviewed scored significantly higher when they were smiling, so much so that traditional 'beauties' who were not smiling were ranked much lower than more ordinary looking girls who were.

By all means, make the most of how you look. We all feel better when our hair is clean and well cut and our clothes fit and flatter.  But the best and simplest way to improve how attractive we look is to smile. And we can all do that!

By accepting and celebrating who you are, your personality and looks, potential dates will also be more accepting of you and see you in a much more positive light. So don’t forget how amazing you are as you make a fresh start to dating.

Click here to find out more about our unique dating profile building tool which can help you create your own original headline, username and profile.