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Are you ready to date? Getting yourself back on the dating scene can be hard sometimes

Congratulations, she said yes to a date! Now what, panic? There are some simple things you can do to help smooth along a first date and maximise the chances of it being a great date so read our first date advice and see if it helps you.

First you need to decide where you date should be? We’ve put together ten great first date ideas to inspire you but the most important thing is to choose something that suits you and you think she’ll like. Make sure your chosen first date idea will give you chance to talk, but maybe provide some distraction too. A coffee or lunch are good as they can be as short or lingering as the situation dictates whereas dinner does tend to promote lingering, which may, or may not, be desirable!

Next, it’s a good idea to prepare yourself for the conversation you’ll have with your date. First dates should be about exchange of ideas and information, so don’t hog the conversation and give her a chance to talk, but also tell her something about yourself to make her feel comfortable and see that you’re being open and friendly. It shouldn’t be an interrogation and firing question after question at her will make her feel uncomfortable.

If there is an uncomfortable silence then having prepared a couple of topics beforehand will undoubtedly help the situation flow more smoothly;

"Think of a couple of serious topics you can ask your date questions about ... just make sure you have an opinion on them too!"

• Think of a couple of serious topics you can ask her opinion on. E.G. something topical such as the environment or a book or piece of art that’s received some press attention recently.
• Dating tip: avoid politically intense or sensitive areas and heavy religious discussion on a first date unless you have specifically chosen a date on their political or religious viewpoint.
• Dating tip: it’s obvious but… make sure you have an opinion on the topic too, otherwise you’ll look a bit stupid!
• Dating tip; don’t choose a topic you have no interest in whatsoever as it’ll show!
• Get up to date with latest showbiz and fashion gossip. Some women hate this, but quite a lot don’t, so sound her out with a question like ‘Do you watch xyz show’, ‘do you like abc star’ or ‘I love your handbag / shoes /dress’ and if they start to talk animatedly on the subject then comment on something you’ve read and then ask what she thinks. Just don’t mistake her Chanel for Walmart or she’ll never forgive you and unless you’ve proved your sartorial elegance mistaking her Walmart for Chanel won’t work either.
• Dating tip: Only do this if it’s something you’re prepared to take some interest in otherwise you might just regret having to read gossip papers for the rest of your life!
• Have a few sports related questions in mind. She may be a baseball fan like you, in which case the conversation will flow easily on that topic but have a backup sport such as tennis or hockey so you can show you are not a one track mind otherwise she may be concerned that you’ll only be interested in one thing!
• Think of a couple of amusing anecdotes about your life you can share with her. This is a great thing to do as it makes you appear open and honest which will make her more comfortable whilst demonstrating you can be an amusing conversationalist.
• Dating tip: Remember to choose something that will be generically appealing to a women – the fact that you planted a lawn on your best mates carpet whilst he was on holiday may be amusing but probably will not demonstrate your suitability as a good long term partner whereas talking about your amusing miscommunication with a waiter in Rome will make you appear self deprecating, well travelled and interesting and thus a good prospect for a second date!
• Make a list of things not to talk about – ex girlfriends for example are a definite no-no, as is your obsession with late night drinking with your mates seven days a week.

"confidence is possibly the single most attractive feature a man can possess ... but it's a fine line between confidence and arrogance!"

Get yourself into the right frame of mind before your date. No-one wants to date a grumpy man so make sure that you go to the date feeling positive and upbeat. Confidence is possibly the single most attractive feature a man can possess so make sure you’re feeling confident about yourself – tell yourself you are an attractive and interesting person, that the date is going to be a good experience and you are looking forward to it and it will be a success and you should go into it feeling great which will show! Dating tip: there is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance; One is super sexy one a complete turn off. Confidence comes across as easy charm and being comfortable in your own skin. Arrogance is being over confident, disinterested in your dates opinion, dismissive or condescending.

Get your grooming and hygiene sorted. There is no excuse for not being clean and presentable on a date. Making no effort will be perceived as disrespectful as she will assume you simply couldn’t be bothered. You don’t need to arrive looking like a catwalk model in all the latest fashion but you should be showered, shaved if appropriate, have cleaned your teeth and be wearing washed and ironed clothes. If you normally wear aftershave then do so but don’t bathe in it, subtlety is the better part of valour!

"Being late is a no-no ... the gentlemanly thing to do is arrive five minutes early so she doesn't have to wait alone..."

Watch your manners. There are very few ladies who don’t appreciate having a door held open for them, being shown to a table and allowed to sit first and being told she looks lovely. Just do it with sincerity and be natural, tripping her up in a race to reach the door first tends to mean the gesture loses impact! Being late is a no-no. As a gentleman it’s an often appreciated gesture if you can arrive first so she doesn’t have to arrive first and wait for you alone. Dating tip this means about 5 minutes early – any earlier looks too keen any later and it might not work as she could arrive first.

Say thank you at the end. Even if you don’t want to see her again it’s polite to say thank you so do. If you do want to see her again then tell her how much you’ve enjoyed the date and say you hope you’ll be able to do it again sometime. Ask her for her number – don’t make her offer as a lot of women won’t want to have to do this! Dating tip: Tell her when you’ll ring her and make sure you do so on that day but don’t be too keen – make it a couple of days away and ring her on that day and not before.  

If you don’t want to see her then don’t escape through the toilet window! Still say thank you but explain that you don’t feel that the chemistry is right between you. Leave it at that, be nice and polite but don’t create false hope if you have no desire to see her again.

If she doesn’t want to see you again then accept it with good grace. Don’t interrogate her for the reasons why just say ‘that’s a shame’, if that’s the way you feel, say thank you for the date and wish her luck with her future dating.

Read our 'ten first date idea' article and see if it inspires you.

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