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In this interview I talk to Sarah about her online dating experiences.  Sarah divorced her husband a couple of years ago and then met Bob through online dating last January and they got married at Christmas! I asked Sarah about her thoughts on online dating and how she achieved her happy ending..

Max: ‘Sarah, congratulations, online dating has obviously been very successful for you – why did you choose to try it?’

Sarah: ‘I wanted to feel that I was taking active, constructive steps to recreate a social life for myself after my divorce. I didn’t want to sit at home waiting for life to happen.’

M: ‘Did you have any preconceptions about online dating, or the people who use it?’

S: ‘Initially, I suppose I did! But then I thought, “I’m considering this and I’m not weird, a pervert or sad”. Also the world is a different place than when I was last single and this is just a great new tool that is available now.’

"...meeting someone online is much safer
than say in a pub or a club..."

M: ’ What were you’re biggest concerns about online dating?’

S: ‘That other people would think I was either sad or desperate. I got over that one very quickly – after all, it’s no-one else’s business!’

‘Also, I was worried about meeting people online or face to face and potentially introducing someone threatening or dangerous in to my life. In some ways though, as long as you go through a reputable agency, meeting someone online is much safer than say in a pub or club as you get a chance to assess them without giving away any personal information. You just have to trust your own instincts in the end and I did find I developed a “radar” to weed out anyone who was not genuine.’

M: ‘What did you enjoy most about online dating?’

S: ‘I looked forward to checking my computer every day! It’s a bit like having loads of pen-friends and checking the post; you never know what message you’re going to get from who. I enjoyed getting to know the people I chatted to, and of course, when you really do connect with someone, it’s a fantastic feeling!’

M: ‘Did you have any bad experiences?’

S: ‘Not really. I few men made contact who didn’t appeal to me at all – either sleazy or cheesy, so I just didn’t respond. The site was so safe and no-one had access to my contact details so it was entirely up to me who I passed any further information on to. This makes it very easy to safely choose who to ignore.’

"A lot of men seem to think that women
want either gym obsessed body builders..."

M: ‘What was the standard of most of the profiles you read?’

S: ‘Pretty poor, I have to say! A lot of men seem to think that women want either gym obsessed body builders or “new man” drips who waffle on about sunsets and soul mates!’

M: ‘What was the biggest turn off in a profile?’

S: ‘For me it was any photos involving gym or exercise attire – or worse still swimming trunks! Also clichéd profiles with references to “feeling the sand between my toes” and “holding hands with the woman of my dreams”. I know some people may find this romantic, but when it appears in every other profile you read it starts to get a little jaded.’

"...it doesn’t work to say “GSOH” - it is much better to demonstrate it...."

M: ‘What made a profile appealing?’

S: ‘Sense of humour definitely stood out – honestly! Particularly when it is slightly self deprecating. However, it doesn’t work to say “GSOH” - it is much better to demonstrate it in the way the profile is written.’

M. ‘What was special about Bob’s profile?’

S: ‘He writes in a unique and lively way. He was not corny or cheesy. His profile gave a real sense of who he is and came across as sincere and honest.’

"Selling yourself is really difficult as we’re
all so conditioned to be modest..."

 M: ‘How did you find trying to write your own profile? What was the hardest thing to do?’

S: ‘Selling yourself is really difficult as we’re all so conditioned to be modest about our good points. I decided in the end to keep it a brief, honest and positive appraisal of myself and my situation and go easy on the sentiment. It seemed to work!’

M: ‘Where was your first date with Bob and why did you choose it?’

S: ‘We met for lunch in Oxford for lunch. We chose it because it was half way between us and we could both travel by train and meet at the station – a public safe place!’

M: ‘What was your first impression on seeing Bob?’

S: ‘I knew what he looked like as we had been emailing photos to each other for a week and he did look exactly as he had in the pictures! But on seeing him, my first impression was that he looked so kind.’

M; ‘What advice would you give to anyone else considering trying online dating?’

S: ‘Be careful. Always follow your instincts and don’t give away personal information too soon. But go for it – it’s great fun and you never know who you might meet!’

So there you have it, a truly happy ending! Follow Sarah’s example and give online dating a go and you never know what you could be doing, or who with, in a years time.

Please note all names have been changed in this interview at the request of the interviewee.

If you have enjoyed this article then why not read our single mums dating diary and see how she found her dating experience?

Perhaps you would like to read our free article about composing your own online dating personal ad? Or if you need some help creating your personal ad then why not take a look at our online dating personal ad builder?

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